This is Jae, writing in place of Eren. Already, this isn’t normal, which should forewarn you, if the trigger/content warning up top did not.
Over the weekend and into the beginning of the week, we took into our house a Hurricane Irma evacuee—a friend we’ve known for years, albeit only online due to distance. We’ve shared a lot with this person, including addresses, pictures, apartment layouts, life events—and had similar sharing in return. We were going to attend this person’s wedding at one point. This person was not a stranger to us except in physical presence.
Sadly, this person chose to take advantage of our kindness. Said person sexually assaulted Eren in our home, multiple times over the course of their stay. Eren felt she could not say anything for fear of making things worse. This is a typical trauma response. I did not find out that this had happened until said person had left our home on their way back to Florida. When I found out, I took steps to ensure Eren’s safety as best as possible.
Eren is physically as well as she can be—bruised, but otherwise unhurt. We are not filing police charges unless said person attempts to make contact in any way again, which we have made clear to this person. The police in our state are horrendous to victims of any kind, but especially to those of marginalized classes—and since Eren is transgender, we have little faith they would treat her with any kind of dignity or true help. We have reason to believe that they might harm her, based on how they have treated other trans persons in our city.
Emotionally, Eren is not well, which is of course to be expected. She could use outpourings of love and kindness. She is currently unable to post, which she regrets a lot, but also she cares about all of you a great deal and wanted to let you know why she is not posting.
Things that are helpful include letting her know how much you care, that this is horrible, that this person did a terrible thing/is a terrible person, etc. Things that are not helpful include telling her what she should have done, asking her where she was, or any other victim-blaming type of thing (and if you need a list of those, please feel free to google ‘victim blaming’).
Thank you for your time and consideration in reading this, and for taking care in how you speak with Eren about this.
With much appreciation for all of you,
P.S. A helpful article for talking with people who have been affected by a big, terrible thing: http://articles.latimes.com/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407